Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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