Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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