We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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