Please, let me fuck your mom
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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