You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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