I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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