So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.