Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize