There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
