She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
