I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
