3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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