Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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