Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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