My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
only if we run a train.
done.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
