Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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