I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
