So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
