There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
