God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
