And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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