there's paper in my vomit.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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