That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
