Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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