WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
