Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize