im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
