rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
