I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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