Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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