He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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