I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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