Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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