i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
