It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
