to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
