cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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