no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
