Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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