I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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