I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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