dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize