He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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