come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
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I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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