Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
