Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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