So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Randomize
