i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
