btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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