anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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