At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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