Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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