What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
