Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize