I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
