he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
