1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
