He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
