oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize